Ready or Not

"In this great future, you can't forget your past."

Since it is 2:45 in the morning, it is technically Friday, which means that I am technically leaving for LAX tomorrow afternoon. Then on to Auckland and finally Wellington where I shall be residing for the next 12 months of my life. Eeeek.
Everyone's been asking me the same question, "Oh aren't you excited?!" Of course I'm excited, I knew I would be. What I did not anticipate, however, was how nervous I actually am. Very, very, very anxious. Sometimes when I'm driving or sitting in a restuarant or washing my face, my stomach starts to twist into knots and I remember how absolutely scared I am.
Which I find very odd because
A. I was never nervous before parting for Belgium
B. I really don't have much reason to be, because what I went through last time was surely much harder than what I am facing because of the lack of language barrier, my 17-year-old naivety, and host families.
But the more I thought about it, the more I decided that Belgium is precisely why I am so nervous. Because I went through that and I know what 12 months away from home is like, and how hard it can be. I remember those days where I just laid on the floor and wished so hard to be home, if only for a few hours of precious familiarity.
It's not that I'm nervous about being there, it's that I'm nervous about what I'm going to miss here.
Today I finished packing all of my things that I don't need today and tomorrow morning, and then I headed to the post office where I paid $60 to ship 200 red Solo cups to Wellington. I didn't have room in my bags and I need them for "The Great American Beer Pong Tournament of Champions" which I will be hosting shortly after my arrival. (Over 30 or just out of the loop, click here). You can't find these red cups in New Zealand, nor can your find beer pong, so I thought that this would be an excellent way to proclaim my arrival to the country. I'm going to be Wellington's Van Wilder. Not really though.
Then I went to Dallas with Travis and my parents and had dinner with some family. That was very much enjoyable and I will miss my family. I'm preeeetty lucky.
I spent the late evening with some very good friends, and said goodbye to some who were leaving today for Austin. The goodbyes are tough and I've never been very good at them, so I was kind of down after that. I dropped Ben off and then I was cruising around my neighborhood a little bit, on the empty dark streets with the windows down. The cool breeze and Bob Marley combined to provide the perfect environment for a summer night.
"No Woman, No Cry" started to play, and as I stared ahead his reassuring repetitions of "everything's gonna be alright, everything's gonna be alright" were exactly what I needed.
Bob Marley is always right. We're all going to be fine. Life moves and it's beautiful, and it takes us places we never anticipated. But I think that right now, I am ready for this next chapter, and I can't wait to see how it unfolds. Won't you join me?